The old lady entered the drugstore and approached the young man who was in charge of the soda fountain.
“Are you a doctor?” she asked, peering over her horn-rimmed glasses.
The young man, not wanting to miss this opportunity to elevate himself, replied, “Yes, you might say so, Madam. But then I’m actually a fizzician.”
“Private Morris, is there any medical reason why you should not continue in the Army?” asked the doctor as he examined the new recruit who was requesting discharge.
“Believe me, Doctor, there is. Why, half my insides are missing!”
“What? Which parts are missing?” asked the startled physician.
“I have no guts.” was the quick retort.
A group of Boy Scouts was visiting the local FBI office. They viewed the pictures of the ten most wanted men in the USA. One little boy pointed to a picture and asked if that was the photograph of the wanted person. When he was informed that it was, he asked the $64,000 question.
“If that is him, why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?’’
Four-year-old Betty had crawled in bed without saying her prayers. Her mother noticed and called this neglect to her attention. The little girl had a perfect answer as she responded. “There are some nights when I don't want anything.”
The nine-month-old baby brother had been crying loudly for some time. His five-year-old brother was getting bothered. In exasperation he said to his mother, “Didn’t you tell me that Freddy came from heaven?”
“Yes, dear, I did.” replied the mother
“Well, no wonder they threw him out.”
A woman enrolled in night school and told her instructor that she wanted to learn French as fast as possible.
“What’s the big rush?” exclaimed the teacher. “Learning French will take some time.”
“Well, we have just adopted a six-month-old French baby, and we want to be able to understand him when he begins to talk.”
A gentleman told of the 21-day tour he was offered by a company. He said that it included the company flying him to London and then flying him home from Tokyo.
He asked, ‘'But how do I get from London to Tokyo?”
The agent replied, “That’s why we give you twenty-one days.”