Winning With God
Daily Spirit Lifter
Day 1
“My small son has swallowed my fountain pen,” Mr. Casey telephoned the Doctor.
“Please come at once."
The physician inquired, “But what are you doing in the meantime?”
Mr. Casey answered, “Using a pencil.”
Day 2
Father: “I'm worried about your being at the bottom of the class.”
Son: “Don’t worry, Dad, they teach the same stuff at both ends.”
Day 3
Mrs. Wolf: “He told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her.”
Mrs. Jones: “That mean thing! I told her not to tell you I told her.”
Mrs. Wolf: “Well, don't tell her that I told you she told me.”
Day 4
Customer: “You served me twice as much as yesterday.”
Waiter: “Where were you sitting?”
Customer: “Over there by the window.”
Waiter: “Oh, that was for advertising.”
Day 5
Susan: “There's a black cat in the dining room.”
Helen: “Black cats are unlucky.”
Susan: “This one isn't. It just ate your dinner!”
Day 6
The bus driver for the Christian School was urging his young passengers to move to the rear but was having little success.
Finally in desperation he shouted, "Fill up the back—just like you do in the church!"
Day 7
Tourist Guide: “Just think, some of those ruins are 5,000 years old.”
Tourist: “Say, I'm not that dumb!”
Tourist Guide: “Don't you believe they are 5,000 years old?”
Tourist: “How could they be—it's only 1984.”
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