“Please come at once."
The physician inquired, “But what are you doing in the meantime?”
Mr. Casey answered, “Using a pencil.”
Son: “Don’t worry, Dad, they teach the same stuff at both ends.”
Mrs. Jones: “That mean thing! I told her not to tell you I told her.”
Mrs. Wolf: “Well, don't tell her that I told you she told me.”
Waiter: “Where were you sitting?”
Customer: “Over there by the window.”
Waiter: “Oh, that was for advertising.”
Helen: “Black cats are unlucky.”
Susan: “This one isn't. It just ate your dinner!”
The bus driver for the Christian School was urging his young passengers to move to the rear but was having little success.
Finally in desperation he shouted, "Fill up the back—just like you do in the church!"
Tourist: “Say, I'm not that dumb!”
Tourist Guide: “Don't you believe they are 5,000 years old?”
Tourist: “How could they be—it's only 1984.”
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