Andrew told his teacher: “I'm going to be an astronaut when I grow up.

Teacher: “Do you really want to fly in space?”

“No," admitted Andrew. “I just want to go eight days without a bath.”

The recruit was puffing as he fell over the last hurdle during his first day of rugged training on the obstacle course.

“My leg, sergeant,” groaned the man. “I think I broke it.”

“Well then, don’t waste time just lying there—do push ups until the medics get here!”

Girl: “A man down the street just insulted me.”

Beau: “I’ll knock his block off, What did he look like?”

Girl: “A great big brute with a scar on his cheek.”

Beau: “Oh well, —forget it—he was probably joking.”

A farmer’s friend says he’s used to hard times. “I got nothing from my old man. Once on my birthday, he gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.”

“Those new people across the street seem very devoted. Even' time he goes out he kisses her and he goes on throwing kisses all the way down the street. Alan, why don't you do that?”

“Me? I don't even know her!”

“Sir, my stenographer, being a lady, cannot type what I think of you. I, being a gentleman, cannot think it. You, being neither, will understand just what I mean.”